WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE HURTING?

Glenn Pemberton teaches Old Testament at Abilene Christian University. He suffers from feet injuries due to stress fractures. He has had five surgeries and has worked with podiatrists, orthopedists, neurologists, neurosurgeons, pain management specialists, physical therapists and psychologists. He is learning to live with pain and dysfunction for which there is no medical cure and the devastation of his own divorce. His book, Hurting With God: Learning to Lament with the Psalms is a masterful study of how to cope when in pain. I would like to share with you part of his introduction.

“Our response to storms, literal or metaphoric, reveals much about us. In the fall of 2000, after losing a house to a wildfire, my objective was clear: rebuild quickly, replace our losses, and get life back to normal as soon as possible. This response is typical of our culture. When a problem or crisis erupts, we want an immediate fix. We speak of ‘getting through it,’ ‘getting past it,’ and ‘seeing the light at the end of the tunnel’ from which we will emerge stronger and better for the experience. So we pray for healing (now) and respond to those who are ill by asking if they feel better (yet). We share the American dream of being able to triumph over any obstacle and live above every circumstance. And all this self-talk is fine as long as we really do get better or find a happy resolution.

But what if we or those we love don’t get better? What if the storms never lets up? What if the issue is not about how to ‘get through it’ or ‘getting to the light at the end of the tunnel’ because this tunnel has no end short of death? What if God chooses not to answer our prayers for healing, for a better marriage, for a way to pay the bills, or for the way out of the mess that is my life? What then? In my experience, when there is no end to the pain or the loss, we simply don’t know how to respond to ourselves, to others, or to God. And, in these cases, even the most well-intentioned and sound theological-philosophical explanations about why bad things happen in God’s world don’t matter because they do nothing to help me live now; they do not stop my pain or teach ne how to live within circumstances that do not change. At least for now, I don’t care why this storm is flooding my life. I just need someone to teach me how to swim.

I do wonder whether our drive to find answers for why something has happened is symptomatic of our deeper desire for security. We want a world that is predictable – that has rational explanations for everything that happens and therefore is manageable. Explanations give an illusion of control, as if, by understanding why a thing has happened, I will be able to stop it from happening again. Maybe. But, for most of us, life is not so simple and certainly not under our control. Accidents happen, storms break out, diseases erupt, and irreversible damage occurs to our bodies, our relationships, and our plans….We live in a world that is beyond our control, and life is in a constant flux of change. So we have a decision to make: keep trying to control a storm that is not going to go away or start learning how to live within the rain.

What I want to know now is how to live with God when things don’t get better – how to live out faith in the midst of the downpour. How do I live in an authentic relationship with the sovereign who holds the universe together when my world has been shaken and rearranged? What do I say to this God?…I’m interested in how we, as people of faith, live with God in less than ideal circumstances.. I’m also interested in how the community of believers responds to and supports its members living in storms. How may Christians bear one another’s burdens and so live out the law of Christ (Gal.6:2)? How can churches help believers maintain their faith and relationship with God while they are hurting – not just until they get better or until the crisis is over, but when the storm continues or leaves irreparable damage in its wake……

Believers are aching for words to express the realities of their lives, to speak the truth to God instead of putting on a charade of repetitive and empty praise clichés that ignore or deny the relentless storms. Christians are ready to learn a new, more faithful and authentic language.”

This language can be found in the Psalms. I read the Psalms through every month. They reflect every aspect of the human condition and point us to trust in God the Almighty, his mercy, steadfast love and redemption. Read them for yourself. The people of God have read them regularly for centuries to find the strength they need to survive the storms of life.