THE CHALLENGE OF AGING – LIMITATIONS

“We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” (Romans 8:22-23)

In my youth I was fast. I ran and won 220 and 440 yard track races in high school. I played rugby football as the wide receiver. At university I played for a city team and at graduate school for the college. I coached rugby at Gordon College and refereed in Jacksonville. I rose early and jogged around San Antonio. When I came to Amelia Island I walked on the beach at sunrise. From childhood I mowed the lawns and did yard work. I traveled the world on ships, trains, and automobiles. I played vigorous games of tennis until my retirement. At age seventy-seven I began experiencing knee problems and had knee replacement surgery. It did not go well. It took me a year to recover. Arthritis set in on my other knee. My rheumatologist prescribed anti-inflammatory medication which relieved the symptoms. Never did I contemplate having to slow down. I remember seeing old people bent over struggling to walk and vowed never to be like them. Now I use a disabled persons parking permit to use a handicapped space and a cane if I have to walk far. No longer do I do yard work or climb ladders. My self-image has changed. I am not the energetic fast-moving youth I used to be. I am old. Instead of holding doors open for others, they do it for me. I appreciate any help that is offered. I see my friends, who used to be great athletes, hobbling along with back, hip, and foot problems. They cannot do what they used to take for granted. Old age has its limitations. Learning to adapt to them and to accept them is essential to peace of mind. I am inspired by the military veterans who have lost limbs and walk on prosthetics. While I experience stiffness in my joints I can still walk without pain. For that I am thankful. It is very hard for me to admit my limitations and to accept this time of life. My mind reminds me of my youth, my agility, my capability of doing anything I want to do. My body tells me differently. The movie, “Father Stu”, starring Mark Wahlberg, tells an inspirational story of someone who exercised a ministry despite muscular degeneration.

Travel has its challenges. I call for valet help with my luggage. Long car trips are uncomfortable. We need to schedule breaks and meals. Walking long distances in airports is unrealistic. Standing in lines at customs and passport counters is to be avoided. Acceptance of wheelchair availability seems sensible. Attending conferences and concerts requires prior planning. Rest rooms use is more frequent. I don’t put off going to them. Learning to be patient and taking more time to move and get to destinations is a virtue. Eliminating hurry from life is essential to contentment. Adjusting expectations to what is comfortable and possible is necessary. I take with me what I need for nourishment, hydration and medication. I carry enough cash for tips to those who help me. I try to enjoy the journey, the variety of people around me, the scenery, the carnival of life and be interested in my surroundings.

I cannot continue to do what I have been used to doing in my prime. I cannot always please others to fulfill their expectations. Attending family gatherings and celebrations may not always be feasible. Hosting others may not be realistic nor altering personal arrangements to accommodate others. It is time for younger members of the family to step up and accommodate you. They should be making their own arrangements and paying their own way rather than you taking care of everything as you used to do. I no longer have to be in charge. It is time for them to be visiting you rather than vice versa. Keeping in touch with loved ones is important. The value of relationships: family and friendships need to be fostered in old age despite our limitations.

Those who are retired from their careers are usually on fixed incomes. They should not be expected to financially support their children and grandchildren or to continue to give them generous gifts. They need to provide for extra help in infirmity as they become physically dependent. It is costly for them if they enter into a retirement facility or care center.

Many seniors are finding that they want to return to work for extra income and to avoid isolation. However most part-time jobs require physical stamina. Despite the availability of jobs it is not always possible for the elderly to stand for long periods of time, to do housework and cleaning and other service work. Nevertheless, it may be worthwhile to enquire at the local supermarket and other stores or distribution centers to see who they are looking for. Job fairs at hotels may also be worth exploring. Continuing to work as long as you can is one solution to the need to be productive and to overcome loneliness. Being a companion and a driver to others and volunteering at a senior center may prove usefulness. Regularly attending a fitness center may be beneficial.

As John DeBrine, a radio preacher, used to say: “We can grow in grace or groan in disgrace!” There are many blessings to be cultivated in old age. We may groan inwardly as we age or we can wait eagerly for the redemption of our bodies, making the most of our time here on earth. Thanks be to God.