Will Willimon, retired United Methodist bishop and now professor of the practice of Christian ministry at Duke Divinity School where he was former Dean of the Chapel, in his book of AGING: Growing Old in the Church, has this to say about endings.

“We older adults have an advantage over younger cohorts when it comes to pondering matters of the end. Death denial is widespread; our rituals for dying are in disarray. The traditional Christian Service of Death and Resurrection is replaced with a bouncy, upbeat Celebration of Life where we are urged to laugh about the foibles of the deceased, an exercise that all too easily degenerates into corporate make-believe that death has not really occurred.

Youth infatuation and cosmetic surgical intervention to cover the physical effects of aging indicate that we find it difficult to think about aging’s most daunting task – dying. We ask, ‘How can creatures so wonderful as we be finite?’ Eat this food, follow these principles, live by this regimen twice daily, take this pill, work out, endow an institution – live forever. Even with our culture’s pervasive denial, those of us past sixty-five have fewer means of evading the reality toward which we are moving. We know in our more truthful moments that over even well-filled lives, the most faithful friendships, our greatest artistic and cultural achievements, the most abstemious of diets, and the institutions we’ve built and supported hovers a solemn warning: this too shall pass.

The satanic promise to Adam and Eve in the garden (‘You will be like God’ [Gen.3:5]) is the lie of immortality. Only God is eternal. Too bleak? To Christians are given the resources to be honest about mortality. As Paul says, ‘We always carry Jesus’ death around in our bodies so that Jesus’ life can also be seen in our bodies’ (2 Cor.4:10). Our lives are not our own. We live each day not for ourselves, and we die on our last day not unto ourselves. Christians are able to be so brutally honest about death, utterly realistic about the lethal human situation, because we are so optimistic about the power of God in Christ. We have confidence in the promise of God’s steadfast love, which overcomes death and the forces of evil. God is life and light, and in the resurrection of crucified Jesus Christ, our final foe is defeated.

The Christian faith has its origins in a cemetery and the jolt of God’s surprise move – the resurrection of the body of crucified Jesus. It’s not over with us and God until God says it’s over. If we are to have life beyond the limits of this passing, earthly life, our hope is that the God who raised Jesus will bring us along with him into eternity.

Recently I attended the funeral of a longtime friend. The preacher at the funeral seemed unaware – or unconcerned – about my deceased friend’s relationship with Christ. She went on at length about my friend’s personal charm and his cooking ability, and that he truly loved his grandchildren. It was an unfortunate funeral sermon, not only because it was poorly delivered and badly constructed but also because it lacked theological interest or substance. Furthermore, all my friend’s virtues and vices are quite beside the point at the end. The sermon implied that our hope in life, in death, in any life beyond death is in our charm, good cooking, and affectionate grandparenting. Jesus Christ failed to win even a cameo role in the sermon, and everybody left the service with the impression that the Christian faith has nothing to say at the time of death than what the world already knows.

We must recover the funeral as a multigenerational, church-wide event, not as a private service for the family. A funeral is a service of corporate Christian worship, a time for education and testimony, and also a prophetic witness to a world that denies death or settles for sentimental bromides and superficial banalities. Funerals are a time of memory and gratitude for a life, but our most grateful remembering should not be about the alleged achievements of the deceased. Funerals should stress the ways that we are cherished and owned by God. ‘If we live, we live for the Lord, and if we die, we die for the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we belong to God’ (Rom.14:8). Our hope is not found in what we can remember and recall about the deceased but rather in God’s remembering of us all.”